Happy Birthday, Emily

Happy Birthday, Emily.

I went looking for her. I approached the living room, but I found nothing. She was neither close to her family nor her friends, which led me to assume that Emily was avoiding me, and that was working out well. So, I decided to leave the party without further attempts, accepting that this battle was already lost. I didn’t want to spend another night fooling myself with alcohol and expectations that would never happen. That vicious loop had me already fed up, so I would disappear without anyone noticing, as they would.

I was conscious of how much our friendship meant to each other. Em and I developed that kind of connection over the years, where we only needed to look at each other’s eyes to know precisely what we were thinking. We shared a lot of inside jokes, and even though we didn’t like the same things most of the time, we knew how to meet in the middle and get along. Yet, our situation changed when we kissed two weeks ago and let those feelings I was secretly hiding emerge.

I remember we were at that bar, drunk, when we started having a very salty conversation. Em, who had a lot of experience with girls, confessed one of her fantasies was to be with someone who had never been with another girl before. Her words not only turned me on but made me fantasize about the idea that it was probably an invitation since I was a virgin in that department, and she knew it. Thus, while she was getting very descriptive about what she would do to “that girl”, my mind started going places, making my body react to the steamy comments.

My heart started racing as the humanity between my legs warned me of how much I wanted to be “her”. And I think my friend noticed it too when she moved her chair very close to mine until the distance in the middle of our faces became considerably smaller. I bit my lower lip, smiling, until our lips slightly touched, and finally, we kissed not just once but several times.

Amazingly, she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did, so we left the bar promising each other that we would talk about it the next day when our heads were clear, but we actually never did. I got it. That was uncharted territory, which was scary to step into, and that was the exact same reason why Emily was avoiding me altogether.

Thereafter, I walked to my car and sat with my cold hands on the wheel, waiting for some clarity to come out, either mentally or hopefully expecting the snowstorm to lessen, but the only thing the universe brought in return was a disturbing noise on the window.

“What the fuck, Beck?” She yelled from outside, knocking gravely on the glass, so I unlocked the car, allowing her to jump inside.

“Why are you leaving all of a sudden?” She asked, more Kadıköy travesti like scolding me. Emily was the kind of woman that always had to have control, no surprises. So, even though she wasn’t missing me, my unforeseen leave annoyed her. But I didn’t answer right away; I was too busy rubbing my hands close to the heating vent.

“Beck. Talk to me!” She was losing the little patience she had.

“You ignored me the entire night. And I get it. It’s your party, and there are many guests you need to engage with, but I found it very odd that you didn’t have time to talk to me even once in the last three hours.” I still couldn’t look at her.

“And then you leave because that’s the easiest thing to do, right?” The frustration crawled up her face, and her cheeks were getting dark pink.

“I was looking for you everywhere, yet you avoided me. The same way you have been avoiding me for the past two weeks because you don’t want to talk about that night. So yes, I am leaving.” I was too tired to put up with her tendency of not showing off feelings and acting like everything was okay.

“I am not going to do anything that puts our friendship at risk, Beck. It’s not fair for any of us. You are plainly overreacting to that kiss. We were waisted for god’s sake!” My friend stated in an effort to rationalize the situation, gaslighting me.

“I see.” I nodded, disappointed. Although I felt like a fool, I didn’t buy it. But I couldn’t get rid of this defeating emotion, so I said, “Whatever, Emily.”… and stood quiet.

“That’s it? You won’t say anything else?” I didn’t know what my friend wanted me to add to that pointless conversation, and then I shook my head.

“You know I hate the part when you shut down and stop talking, right?” Em confronted me.

“I have nothing else to explain here. In the end, you are right; it’s all in my head.” I shrugged.

“And now, who’s behaving like a child?” She was frustrated that I remained quiet. “Ok, I won’t bother you then.” She was mad, eager to leave since she wasn’t clearly expecting my scornful attitude.

If she only knew I wasn’t rejecting her at all. If she only knew this was me trying so hard to push her away because I was simply too scared of these untamed emotions I was feeling at the moment.

“Wait!” I unmasked the need to have her close and touched her thigh while apologizing. “I am sorry, Em.”

She didn’t look at me, so I tried one more time. “Allow me to say goodbye properly,” I begged for a few more minutes before she opened the car door and disappeared into the heavy snow. Could I do anything that made her stay? I didn’t want her to walk away upset in the middle of the storm.

Luckily, Emily stood Kadıköy travestileri quiet with her hand on the handle for quite some long seconds, breathing heavily, but finally managed to turn to me and discard her intentions. My friend was angry and bewildered, doing her best to avoid the internal conflict this situation was causing her. Therefore, hugging her was all I could think of to smooth her down. So I hugged her, indeed, tightly, and she heaved a deep sigh while I was rounding my arms to her body.

I could swear the ice queen melted with this gesture, but I wasn’t entirely sure until she hugged me back and placed her face on my shoulder, next to my neck. We stood silent. It was very peaceful and, at the same time, fascinating. Chris Stapleton was singing Tennessee Whiskey on the radio, setting up the perfect atmosphere so we couldn’t stop each other from pressing our bodies together even though it was the most prudent thing to do.

Consequently, Emily started to breathe my skin like it was a drug or something. At first, I wasn’t sure if this could be a product of my imagination; but then she began caressing my hair with subtle waves, and that shit turned me on very badly. It was real, undeniably real, when I placed my hands beneath her coat to feel the warmth of the skin, and she whined. It was real when my blood pressure went up because she jumped from one humid kiss on my neck to another on my face and slowly moved her lips to my lips, finally allowing me to try one more time the elixir of her mouth that would take my sanity away.

We kissed, driven by the vehemence, and no, I wasn’t imagining this. Her heartbeat was so close to mine that they could almost tune in. Her touch was making my skin burn when her hands ran over my torso to brush my ruffled nipples with her fingertips. And the heady smell of her ash-brown hair decorating her lustful face was taking me to the clouds.

“You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey.” Em hummed the lyrics of the song to me in time with the background music, which made me smile so much, and then I knew this was just the beginning.

I quickly moved to the passenger seat, hopping on top of her with my legs open, and she gave me a devilish smile. Em wasn’t fooling anyone; she wanted this as much as I did, and I was going to enjoy every bit of it even though I was scared to keep going, even though it was a whole new experience because it was my first time doing this with a girl.

Thus, I let the hesitation aside and started to move back and forth deliberately to feel her closer. Fuck, that felt so good! It was boiling inside the car, and not precisely because of the A/C heat.

My friend took off her coat and did not Travesti kadıköy give me time to repeat the action. She helped, taking mine off, and threw both pieces of clothes on the driver’s seat in despair. When she finally opened my front-button shirt and started to dance her tongue on my breasts, I arched back, still grazing my wet underwear to her, and moaned uncontrollably.

Emily knew I was ready for more, and she wanted to feel me closer, so she slid one hand under my rolled-up skirt, through my panties, and smirked, satisfied. “You’re so fucking wet.” She said, softly playing with my clit and announcing what was going on down there like I didn’t already know.

I wanted to tell her this wasn’t the first time I wet my underwear thinking of her. This wasn’t the first time I touched myself, picturing her face between my thighs, or the first time I woke up in an orgasm because my dream got too intense. Yet, I remained quiet, aggravated while she put on the devil’s face, biting her lower lip, and all I wanted was to be dragged to hell itself.

She kissed me again, moving her tongue inside my mouth in ways I didn’t know was possible, and introduced one finger inside of me. Without reservation, I groaned with more pleasure than before, and I sensed she did too because even though I wasn’t giving her pleasure in the same way, she was delighted to see me like that for the first time, knowing she was the only one responsible.

“And you said it was all in my head.” I mocked her in a gasp, making her stroke me faster and harder as it was now two fingers instead of one.

Em rested the other hand on my waist, not before she pinched my buttocks and pushed me forward, on every swing of the movement even harder. “You like this?” She asked, and I nodded breathlessly because I knew everything she did to me was irrevocably maddening. I kept moving at her command; I couldn’t stop this primitive magnetism that made me so thirsty for her.

“You like this baby?” She asked again, also moaning and insisting on an answer. ‘

‘Yeah,” I whined louder and moved faster. “Yeah, I do.” I squeezed the back of the seat with my nails to boost the movement and double the speed.

“What if I stop now?” Em threatened, smiling with her black eyes fixed on mine.

And I refused, pulling her hair while panting a “Don’t you fucking dare.” with my mouth partially open. She smiled again and kissed me without losing the rhythm.

“Faster!!!” I demanded, this was getting too good, too quickly.

“I want you to come.” She whispered in my ear, and I was about to; I didn’t need much time.

“Give it all to me.” She ordered, making me moan louder, taking out all this repressed desire that I had carried inside for so long.

“Come, baby, come.” She uttered one last time.

And I let myself explode in her hands. “Happy Birthday, Emily,” I told her, almost powerless, sweaty, and with a dry throat as my torso rested on hers.

So, we laughed out loud in unison at what we had just done.

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